21 May 2009

Okay, So They Cast The Mighty Thor

Turns out Thor is going to be the guy who plays James T. Kirk's doomed daddy in the current version of Star Trek. His name's Chris Hemsworth. I'd link you to his IMDB page, but who cares? He's twenty five. Aside from Star Trek, he's only got a couple of soap credits. Australian soap credits at that. (I've never seen Australian soaps, but for some reason I imagine they're not much different than porn. Sorry, Australia.)

Plus, it's Thor.

Okay, I lie. I care. But not many other people do.

Also, Kenneth Brannagh is directing, which is news... in 1994. It's like being told Vanilla Ice is directing. Or Dana Carvey. Or anybody else who stopped getting press BEFORE the Spice Girls.

So, a twenty five year old Aussie hunk is starring as an obscure and problematic Marvel superhero property in a film by a faded Brit with all the directorial panache of a Ron Howard or a Brett Rattner.

All that remains are the questions: Horrible, faux Shakespearean dialogue? ("Ho! Thou art ever a base villain, Loki!") Or anachronistic, Kevin Costner-as-Robin-Hood dialogue? (Hello. You're really pissing me off, Loki!")

Hey, I'll admit it. I'd like to see them nail this one, if it even CAN be nailed. I think a whole lot of "they aren't really gods, they're just aliens who visited once" is in order. After all, it'll be weird if they make one and it bombs and Thor CAN'T be in the Avengers movie. What if all the forthcoming Marvel titles are bombs? The Avengers movie will just be Iron Man III, I guess.