7 March 2010

I'm Pulling For You, Jim

At the start of the week, the short list of Captain America casting got released.  Seven or eight late twenty-something nobodies who look like underwear models and... Jim from The Office?

Like Dick Van Dyke and Jimmy Stewart had a baby, right?

No, John Krasinski does not look EXACTLY like Captain America.  He's got a big ol' hunk of nose, to begin with.  It's not David Duchovny class, but it's close.  And it doesn't help that John's been making goofy faces professionally for the last five years every Thursday night.

I don't think he'll get the part, but... I'm pulling for him.

Wait... hear me out...

Reason 1) It'll piss off all the right fan boys AND single-dimension patriots.  The ones who write to Captain America threads with amazingly dense opinions, like "Y'know who's perfect for Captain America? A wrestler!" or "Nathan Fillion can't be Captain America--he's Canadian!" 

I'd absolutely LOVE to piss these guys off.  Plus, it would aid my habit of falling on the wrong side of just about every popular geek opinion at least ninety percent of the time.  (George Lucas?  Love the old crank!  Battlestar Gallactica reboot?  Bored me to frickin' tears!)

Watching "SithDaddy" and "DarkKnight333" lose their shit over John Krasinski as Captain America would be more entertaining than the film could ever hope to be.  It's been hilarious to listen to them already.  The way they go on about the male attributes they lust to .. uh, think are vital to the character... it's curiously akin to overhearing a group of superficial schoolgirls.

The number three Google search for John Krasinski now?  It's "John Krasinski shirt off".  And while he's always been a handsome enough man, I'm sure it wasn't women who made that search result number 3.  It was hoards of perplexed and outraged men in their thirties.


Reason 2) The other guys up for consideration look like Tiger Beat models.  Seriously, there's no need to even post the list of names.  To the last man, they're interchangeably pretty and obscure.  I'd rather Marvel not cast a set of abs in the part.  It was bad enough they were at one point floating the name Matthew McCau.... no, I won't say it.  Too scary to think about having to go see "Captain Douchebag" in a movie theatre.

Reason 3) I'm just so disillusioned with America and Americans now, with what they choose to value and how they choose to think.  Having a Captain America who was cast for his likability and identifiable onscreen presence and NOT for his pecs, delts, grimace, jawline or anything else designed to bolster some butch bullshit reinforcement need of the unwashed... well, it would feel like a huge win.  

That'd go over big with me.