20 September 2010

Famously Derided Things In Movies That I Like

The Blade Runner Narration

You can't help but imagine a grumpy Harrison Ford sitting in an audio booth delivering his infamous V.O. through gritted teeth.  I still don't care. 

As for the cheese of the narration, that's kind of why I love it.  To be fair, I've never been in love with Blade Runner to the same degree as a lot of geeks.

Speaking of cheesy, dig the shirt.  Take away the
cool trench coat, and this is the I-T guy.





I know it says bad things about me, but when I see the Director's Cut now  I feel like the movie's slower without being any more contemplative.  Yes, I know the V.O. was hastily written by the Kraft Services guy or something, but sorry, I can't help it.



The Close Encounters Ending With The Ship Interior

Far be it for me to argue in favour of more Richard Dreyfus, but the ending to Close Encounters isn't satisfying in any of its versions.  So, speaking for myself, I like seeing the inside of the ship. 

Without the ship interior, basically the ending of the movie is that last alien coming out to flip Francois Truffaut the bird.  There's only two things we care about by this point in the movie: the Roy Neary character and getting more and grander spectacle.  So I say: let him in.

 Gah! Let him out, let him out!  There's a Goldblum in there!

 I know Spielberg prefers his version, but sorry,  I'm a Philistine.



The Aliens in Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

With all the lazy directing and sickly cute jokes in Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, it seems unbelievable that some folks still took time out to bitch about the fact that there were "aliens" in their "Indy." 

I say, considering the slap dash nature of every other element in the film, the aliens come off pretty well.  Even if Crystal Skull's ending is abrupt, unsatisfying and CGI-laden--and not at all as Lovecraftian as George Lucas once hinted he had in mind--it at least had more gravitas than Last Crusade's freaking Holy GrailFor reasons we cannot guess, that movie reasoned that the cup of Christ might abide on an obvious, over-lit soundstage protected (for some inexplicable reason) by Goonie traps.

"Yahweh? Yeah, never heard of him... does he have a bitchin' spaceship?"

Forgive me.



The Talky Ending Of Psycho

A lot of people (like William Goldman and Stephen King) have lambasted the ending of Psycho, when Simon Oakland comes and teaches Psychology 101 for ten minutes to people who are grieving, likely in shock and no doubt on their way to a lifetime of therapy themselves. 

Well, I kind of like it.  If only because it provides breathing space between the reveal of "mother" and the chilling finale with Anthony Perkins in the loony ward.  Plus, Simon Oakland is really good here, in a Shatner-esque, "throw yourself into the bad dialogue" kinda way.


"Y'see, he was... how do I put this... oh yeah: nuts."

What can I say? 

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